Our Life In A Shoe

My name is Maclaine. Yes, that's my first name.

Name:
Location: DFW, Texas

Saturday, December 23, 2006

Do They Know It's Christmas

Still love this song. I distinctly remember the Christmas Eve of my 8th grade year sitting in my room playing my tape of this song over and over and crying that the people in Africa wouldn't have a Christmas. The hormones were flowing and the teenage angst was on high.

Now, I have to wonder...Do they know it's Christmas?? I mean seriously. How much of the population of Africa is Christian? I could be wrong but the Africa I see on tv doesn't have mega malls and mass marketing.

In all seriousness, I do understand that the minds that put this together were trying to remind us that we are a blessed people and that a little selflessness can do a lot of good. I love the unity of this song. Enjoy!

(ps - did anyone else notice that someone is smoking at about 3:01? Boy, how times have changed!! lol)

Sunday, December 17, 2006

James Warren 2/7/77-12/17/03

Today, it's been 3 years since you left us. Three years since your body just couldn't fight any longer. You were so full of hope that morning before you went into surgery. Excited that you were going to get a new start. Things didn't happen the way that we hoped. You weren't done here. We weren't done with you. Especially when we are together as a family, there is a gaping hole where you should be. It makes me sad, and a little angry, that you are gone but I bite my tongue because I know that as much as I miss you, Michael, Di, Margaret and Doris miss you more.

To help myself feel better, I allow myself to believe that my dreams for you are true. That your heart is healed. That your body doesn't betray you. That you are up there doing your Chris Farley impressions and that you have great people to talk politics with. That you are with your father. That you are surrounded by love.

I miss you.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Peeing in a Cup

I'm sure that this is breaking all sorts of rules of the universe, but I'm reposting this story. I laughed at someone else's embarassing moment and feel it's only fair to expose my own. Please, disregard if you laughed at me the first time around.


Being the mother of 5 children, I've peed in many, many cups in my life. Previously, I might have even gone so far as to say (proudly) that I'd taken PIC to an art form. Unfortunately, my PIC Club card has been revoked.

I've seen the embarassing moment QOTD go around several times and never really felt I had anything share worthy. Fortunately, I now can join the ranks of those that wear the flushed cheeks.

I picked up a friend and we went to Sonic to chat. I ordered my standard Rt. 44 Diet Coke with easy ice. Our conversation was emotional and I was very focused on her and not much else. After talking for an hour or so, I took her home. It was late so I just dropped her off at the curb. Just after turning off her street onto the main road, I realized that my bladder was screaming at me. I'm guessing that it was because after driving away I relaxed a little. Regardless, the old girl ain't what she used to be. When I was a kid and babysat, I was always afraid to use other people's bathrooms. I'd wait all night for them to come home so I could pee in my own bathroom at my house. Sometimes if I was tired, I'd fall asleep at night knowing that I needed to go but choosing to wait until morning. When I had my 5th c/s, they had to rehang my bladder. Things have never been the same since.

So there I was - late at night, in the middle of the country, trying to hold back the flood gates. My first plan was to make it to a restaurant that was about 10 minutes away. It only took a few seconds for me to realize that was not going to work. Plan B was my parents' house which was more like 3-4 minutes but less than a mile later I knew I was in serious trouble. Just sitting there and letting my bladder loose was absolutely out of the question. In spite of being in the middle of nowhere, there was a decent amount of traffic and no shoulder. I had to stop at a red light and the shooting pains started. At that point, I had seconds before the decision was going to be made for me. The light turned green and I remembered that on the other side of the intersection there was a little gravel patch on the side of the road.

Shaking, I pulled off the road and my mind raced. There was nothing to hide me visually except my van which was out in the open. I did still have my Sonic cup though...I rolled the window down and flung the remaining Diet Coke out (oh, the horror of pouring out good diet coke!!). Then I needed to get my pants down without peeing on myself which would completely defeat the purpose. So much harder in practice than in theory. As I'm lifting my hips, I notice that the car lights of oncoming traffic are directly in my driver's side window. Who cares? Maybe they could guess what I'm doing but it's not like they can see anything. Grab the cup and uh...wow that's a big cup to try to get between the seat and my legs that are pinned against the steering wheel. At this point, the train has left the station (if you catch my drift) and I refuse to get pee on my seat. I crush the top of the cup down a little, I look the other way and lift my hips up as far as I can to get the cup under. I'm certain that the oncoming people had quite the view but at least they couldn't see my face.

I wish I could tell you how successful my endevour was. Alas. Oh, alas. It seems that in my urine induced delirium, I hadn't considered that I'd have to tip the cup a bit to get it out from under me. Yes, I spilled a considerable amount from the cup. Then, I was sitting there holding a half-crushed, dripping cup o'pee with my jeans around my ankles. I still cringe when I see myself pouring that cup o'pee out my window. I fortunately had a plastic grocery bag that I could put the cup in and wipes for my hand. I even blotted down there before pulling up my pants and feeling the wetness immediately soak clear through to my skin. By the time I finally got home, I was wet to the backs of my knees. Just typing this out makes my face blaze.

At least my puking skilz remain unmatched. Who says I'm not talented?

Tis the Season

to run yourself ragged. We're in the holiday sprint. I really don't have the courage to sit down and make a list for fear that I don't have enough hours in the day to accomplish it all. Instead, I've locked myself in at panic mode and I'm cramming everything I can into each day. If things go well, I'll get everything done and have a few minutes to sit and rest...in January.

Tonight
  • make 4 different batches of cookies for Enrichment tomorrow
  • assemble the gingerbread house and wrap the presents to put inside
  • make the dough for the cookies for Kate's class
  • wrap white elephant gift for Enrichment

Tomorrow

  • drop off a care package for some friends of our's with a very sick daughter
  • buy 70 candy canes, 210 pieces of chocolate and 70 celophane bags for Matthew's class treat - also need cherries, sprite, Twizlers, plates and cups for this party
  • frost 24 cupcakes and assemble pieces to make them look like ornaments
  • frost 48 cookies to look like polka dot mittens for Kate's party
  • pick up Kate and Matthew at school (early dismissal) at 1:30, race 30 min away to preschool to pick up Carter and Jake who get out at 2:15 and somehow magically pick up Andrew at his school 20 minutes away also at 2:15
  • make Hot Cocoa Puffs with Kate
  • go to Enrichment and do my good boardly duties
  • assemble Matthew's treat bags
  • wrap a gift for Kate's Achievement Day party
  • get to the post office

On Friday, I'm attempting to take pictures Christmas card worthy of all my kids before my big kids leave for their father's house.

Jake's Holiday Tips:

1. Transform your parent's room into a winter wonderland for them. Get up in the middle of the night. Drag the 24 pack of toilet paper into their room. Rip the rolls into teeny tiny pieces and then throw around the room.

2. Homes should smell festive during the holidays. Climb to where the spices are stored. Rubbermaid totes work nicely as ladders. Get the brand new bottle of peppermint extract and pour it all over the counter and stove. Try to get some in the small gap between where the counter ends and the stove starts. You will feel like you are trapped in a candy cane even in the farthest reaches of your house. If you rub it on the burners, your mom will get a special treat when she turns on the stove.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

and a swish

Kate, our super soccer star, is taking a stab at basketball. We kinda talked her into it when we were having trouble getting a Winter I indoor team for her. The team that she previously played for just wasn't providing enough of a challenge for her and she was developing some bad habits in an attempt to take up the slack of teammates. Quite a few of her school friends play basketball and they were helpful in getting her to agree to try it for a season but only under the condition that she get to play Winter II soccer. Done.

She didn't end up on a team with any of her friends but the sister of one of Andrew's friends is on the team ~ better than nothing. She really didn't think she'd like it. At her first game yesterday, she told me she'd decided that she'd changed her mind. She scored the game winning 3 point shot at the buzzer in her previously tied up scrimmage on Monday. Yesterday, she scored 8 of the 12 points for a 12-8 win. It's amazing how different things are when you aren't matched up against your 6 inch taller, 50 lb heavier, older brother. Go Kate!

Jacob's tip of the day: Mr. Clean Magic Erasers are yummy.

Saturday, December 02, 2006

ToTD

Jacob's tip of the day: If your mom is on the phone with the insurance company and seems very aggrivated, you might want to try to brighten her day. Find a difficult to access corner, remove your diaper and do your business. Then, use a paint brush to create art work for her. If she doesn't really appreciate it, while she is cussing at the carpet cleaner evenly spread 2 lbs of orzo over the entire kitchen floor. This will surely help her forget all about the @#(*@# at the insurance company.